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 * //__Write a funny clean joke below!__//**

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Steven Wright Jokes

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about**
 * If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
 * When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.**
 * China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.**
 * If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the heck down**
 * Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris**
 * Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.**
 * Chuck Norris invented water.**
 * Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.**
 * Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.**
 * Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times**

wut kind of disk does a bunny use?................................ A hoppy disk....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha lol

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One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter's indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, I found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down, I called the fire department. "We don't do that anymore," the woman dispatcher said. When I persisted, she was polite but firm. "The cat will come down when it gets hungry enough." "How do you know that?" I asked. "Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?" she said. PB

No blonde jokes...deleted.

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having problems. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog "the sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said "yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual". The dog looked at the manager calmly and said "Meow".

If you pull the wings off of a fly, does it become a walk?

The other night, I broke into my neighbor's house and put little contact lenses on his dog. They had pictures of cats on them. The dog was flipping out all over the place. Then I took one out and he ran in circles.

"Why are you home from school so early?" "I was the only one who could answer a question." "Oh, really? What was the question?" "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"

Two men are being chased by a bear which is rapidly gaining on them. The first man stops to put on some running shoes. "I don't know why you're bothering," screams the second "we've got no chance of outrunning a grizzly!" "I don't need to outrun him," returns the first "all I've got to do is outrun you!"


 * Q:** What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
 * A:** A cat has its claws at the end of its paws and a comma has it's pause at the end of a clause....hahaha just after learning about a clause in mrs deleons class

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Here's a 1900's joke:... A man went into a clothing store to buy a pair of long underwear. The man behind the counter aked him" Well how long do you want them?" And the man replied... "From September to March"...ha ha ha

Do cannibals eat animal crackers?